The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000.
Pilots are highly trained professionals who either fly airplanes or helicopters to
carry out a wide variety of tasks. Most are airline pilots, copilots,
and flight engineers who transport passengers and cargo, but 1 out of 5 pilots
is a commercial pilot involved in tasks such as dusting crops, spreading seed for reforestation,
testing aircraft, flying passengers and cargo to areas not served by regular airlines, directing
firefighting efforts, tracking criminals, monitoring traffic, and rescuing and evacuating injured persons.
Because of FAA regulations, airline pilots flying large aircraft, cannot fly more than
100 hours a month or more than 1,000 hours a year. Most airline pilots fly an average of 75
hours a month and work an additional 75 hours a month performing nonflying duties. Most
pilots have a variable work schedule, working several days on, then several days off. Most
spend a considerable amount of time away from home because the majority of flights involve
overnight layovers. When pilots are away from home, the airlines provide hotel accommodations,
transportation between the hotel and airport, and an allowance for meals and other expenses.
Airlines operate flights at all hours of the day and night, so work schedules often are irregular.
Flight assignments are based on seniority. An airline seniority number is normally assigned to a
pilot on completion of training. The sooner pilots are hired, the lower their seniority number
and the stronger their bidding power.
Although flying does not involve much physical effort, the mental stress of being responsible for a
safe flight, regardless of the weather, can be tiring. Pilots must be alert and quick to react if
something goes wrong, particularly during takeoff and landing.
Air France
You probably wouldn’t expect a French airline to outfit their stewardesses in frumpy uniforms, and you’d be right. Air France reportedly dropped about $23 million for Christian Lacroix to design a fresh look for their 36,000 employees in 2005. The navy blue uniforms definitely work for me -- they nicely accentuate the stewardesses’ shapely curves. I’m convinced that U.S./French relations would improve if the American detractors flew a jaunt on Air France.
What makes them especially hot: They could very well follow the French ideal of passion over happiness.
Air New Zealand
For would-be stewardesses, Air New Zealand states, “vitality, resourcefulness, enthusiasm and flexibility are… attributes we search for in candidates.” Knowing they’re required to be able to swim the length of an Olympic-sized pool tells us they’re in shape, too. Finally, the airline’s TV ads use actual staff to promote New Zealand’s rugby teams. The way I see it, stewardesses who love physical sports can only be a bonus.
What makes them especially hot: Durex’s 2005 sex survey finds Kiwis even hornier than Americans.
All Nippon Airlines
ANA’s corporate philosophy includes a desire to “create attractive surroundings for customers,” and I’m pleased to confirm their success when it comes to their stewardesses. An extreme example would be the appearance of a bootlegged uniform in a Japanese sex shop: the anticipated selling price was up to $2,650 U.S.. While that may be out of line with the airline’s decency standards, it does exemplify how guys lust after their stewardesses.
What makes them especially hot: ANA offers a line of anime-faced dolls wearing uniforms from the past and present -- maybe they’re intended for the kids, maybe not. Either way, it makes the real stewardesses even hotter.
Cathay Pacific
One way Cathay Pacific marked their 60th anniversary in 2006 was with a fashion show, which highlighted their uniforms of the past and present. Instead of hiring professional models, Cathay opted to showcase their stewardesses on the catwalk -- an inspired choice if I may say. The company may stress service as the top quality to their stewardess candidates, but there’s an underlying sense of aesthetics present, too.
What makes them especially hot: Their stewardesses are equally adept at covering runways on a plane and onstage.
Gulf Air
You might wonder if Gulf Air is the Hooters of the Mideast: They made headlines in 2004 when they reportedly targeted stewardess recruitment to China’s Sichuan province. Their claim was that the region’s young women possessed “patience with natural affinity.” “Cultural and aesthetic cultivation” were also key traits said to be considered. Even now, the airline asks for a full-length color photo at the formal interview.
What makes them especially hot: Gulf Air offers its Sky Nanny service on select flights, giving you a great excuse to interact with the beauties. Finally, there’s a practical reason for traveling with kids.
Hooters Air
It’s sadly ironic, but Hooters Air has gone bust. I understand if you need a moment to collect yourself. Two Hooters Girls on every flight was the kind of policy I applauded for obvious reasons. The leather seating, extra legroom and light atmosphere were also appreciated. Unfortunately, after a three-year run, high fuel costs helped to ground Hooters’ scheduled service in April 2006. For now, private charter is the extent of their operations.
What made them especially hot: In the event of a water landing, they had their own flotation devices.
Qantas
Dustin Hoffman’s Rain Man (1988) may only have been willing to fly Qantas because they “never crashed” (actually, they have). I suspect the hot hostesses could lure you aboard even if Qantas weren’t safe. The airline’s requirements of an “excellent level of health and fitness” and “natural, genuine, engaging, and confident personalities” ensure your continued presence in their seats. Trans-Pacific flights are tough enough to endure without sub-par stewardesses. Qantas seems to understand this and staffs their routes accordingly. A word of advice: calling them sheilas is not endearing, and won’t score you any points.
What makes them especially hot: I’m fighting the urge to drop a “down under” reference here, so I’ll settle for saying it’s the accent mate.
Southwest
There was a time when Southwest clearly wanted to be the sexiest carrier in the air. In the early years after they took to the air in 1971, the stewardess uniform included orange hot pants and white go-go boots. Recruiters plainly asked candidates to wear dresses so their legs could be checked out. “We were selling sex,” admits current president, Colleen Barrett. Times have changed, and so has the dress code. Southwest stewardesses now display more fabric than skin, but we’ve seen a lot of them with figures built for the minimalist attire. Given society’s love for retro and Southwest’s laid-back business approach, we can still at least hope for throwback uniforms.
What makes them especially hot: Genuinely great attitudes to go along with their looks.
Thai Airways International
Thai Airways International has limited North American service, which is really unfortunate: the airline requires its stewardesses to be single, Thai nationals. They are also required to be at least 5’2” with proportional weight. Suffice it to say, it’s worth the effort to fly Thai. I suspect unattractive Thai women exist, but I have yet to see any evidence. From the moment you’re greeted with the traditional sawasdee, or welcoming gesture, I dare you to take your eyes off these stewardesses. Who needs any other in-flight entertainment?
What makes them especially hot: The fact that they’re required to be educated, too.
Virgin Atlantic
Take Virgin Atlantic’s progressive approach to business, factor in hot stewardesses and keep in mind the 2005 Durex sex survey that lists the UK as the seventh-busiest nation (four slots ahead of the U.S.), and I like the odds. It couldn’t bother me that a hysterical stewardess panicked during turbulence. Virgin’s red skirts are tailored to show off figures rather well; certainly better than most uniforms we’ve seen. Most flights on Virgin are long, but it doesn’t mean they’re dull.
What makes them especially hot: Combine the name Virgin with hot women… your imagination will take care of the rest.
Back in 1930, long before they became flight attendants, stewardesses had their big debut. Registered nurse Ellen Church started work as a stewardess for Boeing Air Transport on a flight from Oakland to Chicago. During the early days of commercial aviation, a pilot or first officer on flights would often serve as cabin attendant, as well as assisting in flying the plane. But this splitting of duties proved inefficient, and airlines began to consider other options.
Boeing Air Transport, a forerunner of United Air Lines, was the first airline to hire women. Airline executives believed that the presence of a female attendant on board would reassure passengers of the increasing safety of air travel. It would be difficult for potential travelers to admit fear of flying when young women routinely took to the air as part of an in-flight crew. Further, it was believed that women would cater to their predominantly male passengers. (Not everyone was enthusiastic about the idea, though. Pilots claimed they were too busy flying to look after “helpless” female crew members.)
In addition to meal service, stewardesses were also responsible for winding clocks and altimeters in the cabin, and ensuring that wicker passenger seats were securely bolted to the aircraft floor. They were also required to advise passengers not to throw lighted cigars and cigarettes out aircraft windows while over populated areas and to ensure that passengers didn’t use the exit door instead of the lavatory door! All this for an exciting salary of $110 (Eastern) to $125 (UA/Boeing) per month. As this was during the depression, no one received raises. At the start of the New Year in 1933, there were only thirty-eight stewardess in the United States. Twenty-six worked for United, on Boeing aircraft, another twelve for Eastern, flying on Curtiss-Wright Condors. On May 3, 1933, American Air Ways, predecessor of American Airlines, hired their first four hostesses and a week later, hired two more registered nurses. By the time Trans-Canada Air Lines (later renamed Air Canada) was created in April, 1937, the stewardess concept was firmly established.
In the beginning, airlines preferred to hire only registered nurses, not just for their medical experience, but also because it was believed that nurses led a disciplined life which would transfer well to the rigors of airline travel. During World War II, the airlines hired only men to work on the Civil Reserve Air Fleet (CRAF) flights, thereby opening the market for women on non-military commercial flights.
What’s not to love about stewardesses? They’re usually hot, they wear tight skirts and they bring drinks right to your seat. Blame it on vivid imaginations and mediocre surroundings, but every time we fly, we check out the stewardesses. Yes, we’re using that word; like eating a big slab of steak or smoking in public, casually using the word stewardess is frowned upon in some circles. I want to make it clear: I am approaching this topic from a glandular perspective - a perspective that doesn’t play nice with political correctness. Each time we board, we hope to fly with stewardesses as hot as those in the movie Airplane! (1980), Pam Grier in Jackie Brown (1997) and Catherine Zeta-Jones in The Terminal (2004). Fly girls who’ll get more than your tray table in the upright position.
Airlines may not be able to blatantly hire based on sex appeal anymore, but I sense that it’s still considered to a degree - somewhere between the lines of “height and weight appropriate,” “professional appearance” and “pleasant personality.” Although the days of airline-promoted, in-your-face stewardess sexuality are gone, the stewardesses themselves have only gotten hotter - especially on international carriers. Take a flight on one of these carriers and you’re well on your way to a memorable layover.
Major airlines are required by law to provide flight attendants for the safety of the traveling public. Although the primary job of the flight attendants is to ensure that safety regulations are followed, attendants also try to make flights comfortable and enjoyable for passengers.
At least 1 hour before each flight, attendants are briefed by the captain—the pilot in command—on such things as emergency evacuation procedures, coordination of the crew, the length of the flight, expected weather conditions, and special issues having to do with passengers. Flight attendants make sure that first-aid kits and other emergency equipment are aboard and in working order and that the passenger cabin is in order, with adequate supplies of food, beverages, and any other provided amenities. As passengers board the plane, flight attendants greet them, check their tickets, and tell them where to store carry-on items.
Before the plane takes off, flight attendants instruct all passengers in the use of emergency equipment and check to see that seatbelts are fastened, seat backs are in upright positions, and all carry-on items are properly stowed. In the air, helping passengers in the event of an emergency is the most important responsibility of a flight attendant. Safety-related actions may range from reassuring passengers during rough weather to directing passengers who must evacuate a plane following an emergency landing. Flight attendants also answer questions about the flight; distribute reading material, pillows, and blankets; and help small children, elderly or disabled persons, and any others needing assistance. They may administer first aid to passengers who become ill. Flight attendants generally serve beverages and other refreshments and, on many flights, heat and distribute precooked meals or snacks. Prior to landing, flight attendants take inventory of headsets, alcoholic beverages, and moneys collected. They also report any medical problems passengers may have had, the condition of cabin equipment, and lost and found articles.
Lead, or first, flight attendants, sometimes known as pursers, oversee the work of the other attendants aboard the aircraft, while performing most of the same duties.
Because airlines operate around the clock and year round, flight attendants may work nights, holidays, and weekends. In most cases, agreements between the airline and the employees’ union determine the total daily and monthly working time. Scheduled on-duty time usually is limited to 12 hours per day although some contracts provide daily actual maximums of 14 hours, with somewhat greater maximums for international flying. Attendants usually fly 65 to 90 hours a month and, in addition, generally spend about 50 hours a month on the ground preparing planes for flights, writing reports following completed flights, and waiting for planes to arrive. They may be away from their home base at least one-third of the time. During this period, the airlines provide hotel accommodations and an allowance for meal expenses.
Flight attendants must be flexible, reliable, and willing to relocate. However, many flight attendants elect to live in one place and commute to their assigned home base. Home bases and routes worked are bid for on a seniority basis. The longer the flight attendant has been employed, the more likely he or she is to work on chosen flights. Almost all flight attendants start out working on reserve status or on call. On small corporate airlines, flight attendants often work on an as-needed basis and must adapt to varying environments and passengers.
The combination of free time and discount airfares provides flight attendants the opportunity to travel and see new places. However, the work can be strenuous and trying. Flight attendants stand during much of the flight and must remain pleasant and efficient, regardless of how tired they are or how demanding passengers may be. Occasionally, flight attendants must deal with disruptive passengers. Also, turbulent flights can add to possible difficulties regarding service, including potential injuries to passengers.
Working in a moving aircraft leaves flight attendants susceptible to injuries. For example, back injuries and mishaps can occur when opening overhead compartments or while pushing heavy service carts. In addition, medical problems can arise from irregular sleeping and eating patterns, dealing with stressful passengers, working in a pressurized environment, and breathing recycled air.
Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Pilots, with a sense of humor, do too. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
From a Southwest Airlines employee ... "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane ..."
Pilot-"Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ... it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments
because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
From a Southwest Airlines employee ... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just
like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
Fight Attendants
Meet the least helpful cabin crew ever.
Little Pill
On a Northwest Airlines flight, the mom of a 19-month-old spotted powdery specks floating in her baby’s juice. It turned out to be crushed Xanax provided by flight attendant Daniel Cunningham, sentenced to four months home confinement just for trying to help the little tyke sleep.
Bombs Away
On a 2004 American Airlines flight from Dallas, flight attendant Gay Wilson found a note that read, “There is a bomb on board this flight to Boston in cargo. Live Saddam.” Wilson eventually admitted she’d written the note, but didn’t say why.
Russian Hospitality
Two stewards on a Moscow-to-Nizhnevartovsk flight attacked a passenger for accusing them of being drunk. An exam later proved that the stewards were indeed heavily intoxicated. How anyone noticed this on a Russian airliner was never explained.
Off Day
An off-duty South African Airways steward got wasted on an SAA flight and was fined 100 rand for swearing at passengers, biting people on the arm, and kissing a Chinese woman. In Shanghai that’s called Saturday night.
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."
"As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
"Last one off the plane must clean it."
From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry ... Unfortunately none of them are on this flight ...!
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old
lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.
Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."
