Wait, they stopped hanging men for horse stealing? According to the Death Penalty Information Center, the last known execution for horse theft was in California in 1851. But it was never that common a sentence; of the roughly 3,500 executions from 1700 to 1860, only 51 were for steed stealing. Pennsylvania was the first state to abolish capital punishment for robbery in 1786—but believe it or not, the South was behind the curve. Robbery was still a capital crime in some Southern states until 1972, when the Supreme Court declared death penalty statutes unconstitutional. Guess the makers of The Horse Whisperer will never be brought to justice.

The best karaoke songs for a guy who can't sing a lick are: Born to be Wild, by Steppenwolf, is in a middle range and sounds just as good if you have a voice like you just smoked a pack of Marlboro reds. Friends In Low Places, by Garth (Barf) Brooks, works better with a beer in your hand. This song really has no high parts, and with everyone in the bar helping you sing, it makes no difference if you're on key or not. Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond, requires some singing ability, but it you do a halfway decent job you'll be the talk of the bar. The key is to get the crowd involved, especially during the bah-bah-bahs. Get ready for some good interaction.

Animals suffer from mental retardation, and we’re better off because of it. Why? By observing impaired critters, scientists have learned how the condition affects people. Researchers at the Oregon Health & Science University found that mice lacking a protein called WAVE-1 suffer from balance, motor, learning, and memory shortages. Since WAVE-1 is important in human brain cell communication, its absence in people could have the same effects. And, yes, that does mean special ed rodents contribute more to humanity than you do.

The president is the best-paid public official in the United states — but it’s a recent development. Fortunately for poverty-stricken Dubya, Congress doubled the presidential salary to $400,000 before he took office, but this was the first presidential pay hike since 1969. We had the top public official in the country making what amounted to a low-level VP salary on Wall Street — and other public officials were making even more than that. For example, Dallas’ city manager pulls in $263,027 while the vice president, Speaker of the House, and chief justice of the Supreme Court make only $203,000. House and Senate leaders earn $175,700, but representatives and senators nab a measly $158,100. That’s still more than most governors, whose salaries typically range from $75,000 to $125,000. Of course, California’s governator chose not to accept his $175,000 salary—hey, you finally make more money than someone!