Christmas Shopping
An ex once surprised me with lingerie for a present. But instead of the chic nightie I would’ve liked, he got a sheer fire-engine-red bra and crotchless panties. The sentiment was sweet, but the gift was about his desires, not mine. When it comes to giving girls presents, the old adage is true: It’s the thought that counts—as long as you show you were thinking about her. And what better way to do that than by putting her needs first in bed? If you do it right, it’ll even result in a gift for you. So before you pick her up a shiny new vacuum cleaner, read what real women have to say about the sexiest holiday gifts they’ve ever gotten—and a few they still hope to receive. Then put your cash back in your wallet and get ready to give her one oh-holy-shit night.
The easiest way to give her a gift she’ll never forget is to tap into her fantasies. If she’s too shy to tell you hers, Los Angeles sex therapist Magen Todd, Ph.D., recommends offering up yours first. “Fantasies can cause anxiety for people,” she says, “but you have to be willing to take that risk. Curiosity is important.”
Maggie,* a 25-year-old store manager, tried the method with her boyfriend last year, and he combined several of her fantasies into one amazing night. “First he tied my hands and blindfolded me,” she says. “Next he relaxed me with a full-body massage. Then he fingered me and went down on me. By the time he put himself inside me, I was literally begging for it.” She returned the favor days later and says her memory of how great it felt turned her on the whole time. Some women may prefer to drop hints about their sexy wishes, so keep your eyes and ears open. Fay, a 34-year-old executive assistant, says she’s dying to bring props to bed and play out a naughty-girl scenario. She leaves her browser open to sex-toy sites, hoping her boyfriend will notice. “I’d love for him to run feathers or a brush over me,” she says, “and use a vibrator on me while we’re having sex. But most of all I want him to lean me over, pull down my panties, and spank me with something.”
Though candles and rose petals can go a long way, it’s the super-creative gifts that are the most memorable. Lindsay, a 23-year-old editor, says her boyfriend once presented her with an IOU that promised to wake her up with oral sex each morning of Hanukkah. “I didn’t think he’d follow through on it,” she says, “but he did, and it was amazing! I’d wake to him slowly pulling off my panties and starting to lick me. And he wasn’t just trying to get it over with. He took his time until my body was almost numb. The best part? When I’d try to return the favor, he’d never let me. He said morning was my time.”
Simona, a 29-year-old paralegal, requested a similar gift last year. “I told my boyfriend that for the 12 days of Christmas he had to do 12 new things in bed,” she says. “We used nipple clamps, did it on a train, played follow-the-porn, tried a bunch of new positions. It got so that I’d get super wet at work, dreaming about what he had planned for that night.”
The element of surprise can work wonders, too. Sara, a 27-year-old marketing manager, had no idea she’d be getting a sexy gift when her boyfriend whisked her off to a winery and bed-and-breakfast for a weekend vacation. “After we were buzzing from the winery tour, he made a bubble bath in the Jacuzzi, and we steamed up the mirrored walls,” she says. “It got so we almost couldn’t breathe, but that only made it sexier.” Lauren, a 28-year-old hotel manager, says a boyfriend once set up a scavenger hunt for her in which she found cutesy presents at each stage—but she wished it’d had a sexy theme. “I’m obsessed with the idea now,” she says. “I want someone to send me on a hunt where I pick up toys or little things that make me feel sexy along the way—chocolate body paint, furry handcuffs, a picture of his dick—and then at the end, I get to find him in bed, and we go crazy. Guys have vivid imaginations about sex—why don’t they do this all the time?”
Ultimately, most women said the best gift you can give them any day is an earth-shattering orgasm. And the best way to do that is to shift all your focus onto her in bed. Haven, a 28-year-old financial consultant, asked her boyfriend for an experiential gift last Christmas. He responded by taking her to an orgasm seminar. “I was so turned on that he chose something that included him learning more about what excites me,” she says. “Ever since, he’s been really listening to what feels good. That’s made me feel more sexual, and he’s totally reaping the rewards. I’m hornier than ever.”
For Hadass, a 31-year-old personal shopper, that kind of sexual surrender is exactly what she wants for the holidays. “I sometimes worry about being the center of attention in bed,” she says, “which makes it hard for me to come. My fantasy is for a guy to let me know that my orgasm is his only mission. He’d go down on me and start with fluttering strokes of his tongue, then move to meatier ones, and then he’d tease me by stroking fast and then pausing until I couldn’t take it anymore.”
See? Women are easier to please than you think. It might take a little creativity and effort to give her the holiday present she deserves, but master the art of giving in bed and you’ll earn goodwill the whole year through. Women are complicated—especially when it comes to giving them gifts from both the heart and the loins. But don't fall into the typical Christmas gift pitfalls of crummy lingerie and cheapo trinkets to get her swooning. A good gift for the girlfriend is Champagne Suzy Burlesque Couture. If you're going to go for lingerie, don't take the tired route of Victoria's Secret. From the man who brought you Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce comes a new line of lingerie that'll make your girl look like one of them without feeling ho, ho, ho-ey. "My girlfriend and I always used to fight about lingerie gifts, because I wanted to get her something trashy and she wanted something classy," says Sean. "Now we can both be happy!"
You two are likely still in the sexual adventurousness phase of your relationship, so why not invest in Liberator sex furniture? "I bought my girlfriend the Black Label Ramp. To our joy, it made normal positions into extraordinary new sex," says James. "The support it gave was just the right touch to make everything hit the right spots. My girlfriend was as excited as I was, and it didn't let us down." Not ready to drop dough on some serious sparklies? Know that she has a hankering for the smelly stuff? Kill two birds with one stone by getting her a bottle of Jivago 24K Perfume, which has real 24-karat gold chips suspended in the fragrance. "It served three purposes, actually," says Amber. "I got my scent and my bling, and he got a puzzle to solve: How do they suspend the chips in the perfume? He still hasn't figured it out." A good gift for the wife are Sex tonics from Elixir Tonics & Teas. If you've duped her into becoming your wife, chances are you've had the headache chat at least once. Try plying her with Sex tonics from Elixir Tonics & Teas. The Chi Devil tonic, made specifically for women, has a blend of boysenberries, blackberries, and herbs we can't pronounce. Does it work? "My wife's excuse is she's always stressed out from her job," says Dave. "She always has tea when she comes home, so I made her some of the Elixir stuff. I don't know if it turned her crank, but it certainly de-stressed her enough to get things rocking again." An insider tip? Add vodka to the tonic for delicious Sextinis. Susan Foster Jewelry is always a good gift for the wife—at this point, she's earned it for sticking by you and your deadly BBQ experiments. But going to Zales doesn't convey the same meaning as getting her a one-of-a-kind bauble from Susan Foster. Says Annie, "My husband bought me the cross necklace and told me to wear that and nothing else to bed. Let's just say we were up so late that he didn't make it in to work the next morning." It's been said that women are turned on more by mental stimulation than visual, but that may be up for debate (ever seen women watching a movie where Brad Pitt goes shirtless?) Sounds Erotic offers a CD series—choose from Sugar, Spice and Spank!—designed to deliver a good, hot story that gets things started so you can close the deal. "My wife and I put the Spank! CD in one night, and I was a little nervous about what she would think, but she loved it," says Scott. "The CD really got her revved up and even more adventurous!" A good gift for the fuck buddy is the picture Not a Romance from Wicked Pictures. If you want to make sure your perverted pal knows she's not getting an upgrade? Say it with porn! "He made it clear that our relationship—if you could call it that—was strictly about sex," says Claire. "Not to mention the title was perfect. I loved it. And we got great use out of it." Nothing says "get naked and screw" quite like a good bottle of alcohol, but she is a buddy, so don't be a cheap-ass and get her a bottle of Night Train from 7-11. Instead, invest in a bottle of Modern Spirits vodka. Think more gourmet than chick with flavors like Pear Lavender and Chocolate Orange. "Unlike other vodka, this stuff doesn't taste like gasoline," Kent notes. "So it was easy to down the bottle…and then get down to business." You wanna make it all about sex? The "I've Been Naughty" Kit is filled with bonding tape, Melt Chocolate Body Fondue, and best of all, the "Turn Me On" remote controlled vibrating panties. "The vibrating panties are so hot," says Alexis. "I wore them out to dinner, and he kept turning the control on and off, making it stronger and stronger. By the time we got to dessert, I was begging him to let us leave early so we could finish what he'd started."
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