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Game Players

Unconcerned that some behavioral scientists claim, somewhat patronizingly, that game players are simply people working off their aggressions in socially acceptable ways, Americans in increasing numbers go on blithely buying, playing, and enjoying their favorites. If there is a deep secret underlying the timeless appeal of games, Aldous Huxley perhaps best expressed it: “With their simple and unequivocal rules [games] are like so many islands of order in the vague untidy chaos of experience. In games one passes from the incomprehensible universe of given reality into a neat little man-made world where everything is clear, purposive and easy to understand.”

Aggravation is a source of continuing, increasing irritation or trouble, or exasperation. Aggravation is a mild form of suffering, often with anger, in particular, if applicable, anger at the person who caused it. This can also be oneself, e.g. when forgetting something or doing something stupid. It is a form of stress, but conversely, if one is stressed by unrelated matters, mild imperfections can cause more aggravation than usual.

Mating is a fascinating example of the complexity that can arise in considering aggravation. Males generally pursue females in mating species - females avoid males that they assume are undesirable, or at bad times to bear young. Thus the physical aspects of sexual pursuit may aggravate the female, and the pursuit may itself be an aggravation. This changes when a desirable male approaches at the right time - at least insofar as the female considers it to be so.

So something which is an aggravation at one time may serve a purpose, or even be a pleasure, at another. For these reasons mating is very often omitted from any discussion of aggravation itself, and indeed prevents problems for discussions of pain and pleasure itself. Mating often involves both - and certainly motherhood also involves a great number of aggravations, but with the third party observed advantage of passing on genes - that is, if one accepts that this is of any use.

There is a need for realistic, personal goal setting and for taking action to ensure your long-term success to alleve aggravation. What comes next is commitment. You can set all the goals you want, but if you’re not willing to commit yourself to the process, it won’t work. But if you are committed to seeing your desires become reality, you will succeed.

The more specific you are about your goals, the more you’ll be able to weed out anything that isn’t about your goal. Then set a date for reaching it, which will help to prevent procrastination and encourage you to look at the practicality of your goal. You’ll be less motivated if your goal is too general. Do you understand the time commitment and possible financial, mental, and physical commitment that you’ll need to reach this goal? Or are you putting unnecessary stress on yourself to do something that isn’t right for you? Do you understand the physical demands that the goal you’ve set requires?

Setting unrealistic goals is the number-one reason why we fail. If you are realistic in goal-setting, you will save yourself a lot of aggravation. Are you enthusiastic about the possibilities? Do you look at your goals and immediately feel defeated or overwhelmed? Is it what you really want? If you don’t necessarily feel defeated but your goal doesn’t do much for you, you may have set your goal too low. Goals need to be challenging enough to even warrant being defined as goals. Where’s the motivation if there’s no challenge?

There are some skills in life that are just impossible to master in one lifetime. For me, figuring out how to fold maps is one of those skills. I can unfold maps with a great deal of skill, poise, and grace. But ask me to fold a map and my fingers fumble furiously. Whenever I try folding a map I can never quite get the folds right. The end result is that the map always bulges in the most embarrassing way. When no one is looking, I have tried sitting on these bulging maps to flatten out the flaws. I've tried putting the maps under a steaming iron. I once even tried sneaking a folded map under a bulldozer that was working on my street.But no luck. Not only am I genetically incapable of folding a map correctly, I also have no skill at covering up my mistakes.

So I've made it one of my lifetime goals to see if I can discover any special secrets on how to fold maps. I ask people I meet on the street, "Any tips or suggestions for folding maps?" I've asked reference librarians, telephone operators, government officials, visiting tourists, map selling stores, map making companies, and professional map makers. None of them could offer me help in how to fold maps. Then the other day, at wits end, I decided to try something different. When I opened a map I happened to be casually using, I rearranged my thinking process and paid careful attention to how the map unfolded. I told my hands to move in slow motion so I wouldn't miss a single step. I tried folding the map back the way it was supposed to be folded. Lo and behold, the map folded right up. It seemed miraculous, but my technique really did work.

My next lifetime goal is to learn how to jiggle a key to open a sticky lock. Anyone have any suggestions?

- Phil Shapiro

Almost Impossible To Master

A surprisingly large part of skill is a matter of attitude and concentration. When the pressure is on, the player with the best control of his nerves and emotions has a big advantage. Try to play with confidence, even if you have little reason for having any. The sooner you act like a good player, the sooner you'll become one. I don't mean you should swagger, pose, brag, and sneer like some of the insufferable clowns you see, but I do mean you should cultivate an air of command.

Survey the situation as if a computer is whirring in your head producing printouts of favorable odds. For your brain is like a computer, and if you practice enough, it will begin making decisions for you on an unconscious level. When that happens, people will begin saying, perhaps even writing, that you have a nice feel for the game.

Acting like a good player even though you are miscast in the role is not so much for the purpose of frightening your opponent as it is for building up a feeling of confidence within yourself. In many areas of life, a confident mental attitude is almost as important for success as luck and cheating. You must be able to make cold-blooded assessments of percentages, but once you decide to try it pays to do so with forthrightness and even ebullience. You've got to believe that you will make it. At the moment of truth there is no room for pessimism. Once you allow yourself to start worrying about how hard it is, how poor your chances are, how bad you are going to look, how embarrassing it will be to lose ... well, then that exquisite machine is almost sure to belch, backfire, and run off the tracks.

To be great recreation, you must be able to watch and play. However to be great at it you have to master several skills. Multiple strategies are needed to be successful. Mental toughness endurance, power, quickness and good hand eye coordination is required to be competitive in any contest. You can play for years and still it is almost impossible to master. However, the degree of difficulty makes it so appealing to watch.

One of the reasons we get aggravated is that the decisions are all on our shoulders. There is no one to blame for mistakes. There is no easy excuse to make. Of course, we can always run for cover behind lines like I was sick. Many people assume that when something crazy happens they will just handle it. Not everything can be anticipated precisely, nor does it need to be. Just get into the right frame of mind when the moment calls for it.

The Face Of Competition

We are brought up to believe competition is good for us. So it is: like when we compete against ourselves to reach our personal best. But when you are constantly measuring yourself against another person then motivation by fear rears its ugly head. Constantly judging others and making comparisons between yourself and others leads to a doing culture. You know you have to do ... because if you don’t ... you will be seen as inadequate etc. etc. etc. You are now motivated by the fear of losing.

There is another way. A way that enables you to deliver on time every time without all the aggravation. Think in a different way. Your reactions depend on your motivation. So what if your motivation is to enjoy yourself. What if you followed your intuition, your feelings and let go of the fear. If you think that something is the right thing to do. Do it. Put it into practice. Don't just understand it and think about it, do it. This brings power. This is motivation by the real you. The wish to do things in order to bring out the best in yourself.

Aggravation Game It's not as aggravating as a trip on the Los Angeles highways, but the game of Aggravation is sure to put a monkeywrench into the complacency of gametime! Get your marbles around the board before it's too late, and you'll be the winner!

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