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The Stockcar Drinking Game

In 1985 both Coors sponsored drivers, Bill Elliot and Dick Trickle, figured prominantly in the ASA MOLSON EXPORT 300. The Winston Cup star had victory snatched from his grasp by a flat tire with 12 laps to go and finished third in the Jr. Hanley prepared Thunderbird, while the defending ASA and 1984 MOLSON EXPORT 300 champ brought his Camaro in second right on Senneker's heels at Cayuga International Speedway.

Stolen from One of those Racin' Deals where The Official Stockcar Drinking Game is kept semi-current.

Mixed messages, like too many mixed cocktails, can cause a nasty hangover. Auto racing is setting itself up for a lulu of a head-splitter by trying to reconcile liquor ads on race cars with efforts to spiff up the image of a sport that traces its roots to moonshine runners. It's kind of schizo-marketing to extol a wholesome "family values" business while drivers are behind the wheels of speeding cars painted like beer cans and, soon, Jack Daniel's and other whiskey bottles. In the stock car world drinking and driving go together.

The Rules:

To play, you must have mass quantities of domestic beer, a stock car event to watch, and at least two participants. Playing this game alone is strictly prohibited. You must be 21 years of age to participate, but we really don't know who you are or where you live. Each participant must have a few driver's for which he is responsible (your drivers). You just name a few of your favorite drivers at the beginning of the race.

Everyone drinks when:

1. A race is not sold-out.
2. There's a shot from a "Copter-Cam" and fake helicopter sounds are used.
3. Someone uses the term "deal".
4. A commentator says "AIN'T"
   (Inspired by Larry McReynolds)
5. This season's most annoying commercial comes on.
   (You decide what it is.)
   (Inspired by the 1998 "dueling banjos" Mobil One commercial)
6. Rick Hendrick appears.
7. A crew member's foot is run over by a car.
8. A tire or track temperature measurement is taken.
9. Following a caution, the network covering the race comes back from a commercial and misses the drop of the green flag.
10. There's a fight.
11. A virtual sponsor logo is spotted somewhere on the grass around the track.
12. It is mentioned that the most popular driver is Bill Elliott.
    (Everyone drinks who has ever actually known a fan of the most popular driver, Bill Elliot.)
13. Jeff Gordon cheats during a commercial.
14. You see bad sunglasses.
    (Inspired by Dale Earnhardt)
15. Commentators define the terms "loose" and "tight".
16. A trophy wife is shown.
17. Somebody reaches in and changes the driver's hat during an interview.
18. There's a caution flag. (drink each lap)
19. The sponsors "Siemens" or "Cummins" appear on the screen.
20. A blunt object is used to repair a car.
21. A commentator says "The Leaders".
    (There is only one leader. Be prepared to drink a lot.)
22. A guy who got put out of the race refers to the guy who put him out as some sort of sports equipment.
    (Example: Earnhardt Jr. called Todd Bodine a "Cue Ball Headed Fool" for wrecking him. )
23. Brett Bodine shows up at the track with a sponsor.
24. A commentator misidentifies a driver or a car.
25. A driver leaves pit road with the gas can still in the car.
26. The network goes to commercial after showing 5 laps or less of green-flag racing.

Take a drink when:

1. An announcer says that your driver is having a really good day at lap 18 of a 500 mile race.
2. A driver forgets to thank his sponsor.
3. Your driver has a special paint scheme.
4. You refer to your own personal pit stop as anything other than a "Dick Trickle".
5. You refer to the 43rd starting spot as anything other than the "DW" spot.
6. The coverage switches to your driver's in-car camera. (any view)
7. There are "donuts" on the side of your driver's car.
8. The hood goes up on your driver's car.
9. A commentator points out a hotdog wrapper or other debris on the front of your driver's car.
10. Your driver returns to the track with the car number displayed using 200 mph tape.

Give a drink when:

1. You can form a sentence using the words "wedge" and "round" without referring to racing.
2. You are first to point-out a loose tire in the pits.
3. Your driver appears in a commercial.
4. Your driver is in a wreck and does not blame anyone else for it during the interview.
5. Your driver mentions a sponsor in victory lane. (one drink per sponsor)
6. You can predict why the field will be under caution when returning from the commercial break.

Everyone drinks but you when:

1. Your driver takes the lead.
2. You are the only one in the room to understand what Ward Burton is saying.
3. You make a statement that is repeated half a minute later by a commentator.

Finish your beer when:

1. Damage is done to the "Scared M&M" on the #36 car...again.
2. Someone refers to "open-wheel" racing.
3. Your pit crew leaves a tool in or on the car.

You drink constantly while:

1. Your driver's pit crew chases after the car because it ran out of gas or lost it's brakes.
   (Inspired by the #88 Quality Care pit crew)
2. Your driver is being held on pit row for a penalty.

Everyone drinks constantly while:

1. Something that shouldn't be, is on fire.
2. Ned Jarrett talks about Dale Jarrett.
3. A driver, who just wrecked, is standing in the middle of the track waiting for the car who hit him. (Everyone must open a new beer and chug it if he throws his helmet through the passing car's window)

Chug a beer when:

1. Your driver is black-flagged.
2. Your driver is listed as out of the race.
3. Your driver races down pit row to avoid a wreck.
4. There is mention of your driver's physical state.
   (Example: "Jeff is no longer answering his radio in order to save energy.")
5. Your driver can't find victory lane after a win.
6. A driver, crew chief, or spotter is heard cursing over the scanner on national television.

Everyone chugs a beer when:

1. Bill France buys another track.
2. Jet-dryers come onto the track.
3. A driver runs over wildlife.
   (Inspired by Dale Jarrett's encounters with a turtle and a woodchuck.)
4. The winning driver's sponsor and the race's sponsor are the same.
5. There's a red flag.
6. During a race you hear or see the point standings based on current running position. ("Point standings as of now." -or- "If points were awarded now." )
7. No Bodine makes the race.
8. NASCAR scripting comes into play.
   (Example: Dale Earnhardt wins the Daytona 500 on NASCAR's 50th Anniversary)
9. The flagman drops a flag onto the track.

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