Not sure what wine to order when trying to impress the ladies? These quick tips will help turn your dinner date into a sleepover.
Figuring out a restaurant's wine menu can be harder than solving a Rubik's Cube and E=mc² while in the Bermuda Triangle and all you wanted was a bottle of wine. Now, you're looking down the barrel of a sixty-page list. You've got one very special guest vying for your attention, but you don't have six hours - or even six minutes - to conquer this tome. A lot of folks, faced with this situation, reach out for one of three or four familiar bottles they've committed to memory - perhaps a Jordan Cabernet or a specific white Burgundy. That's not the worst idea, but I have a better one: Reach out to the sommelier.
It's amazing how few people accept the assistance of the sommelier. The days of the tuxedoed cellar master clanking his silver chain and cup around his neck, practicing the fine art of intimidation and pretentiousness, are (I hope) a distant memory. Today's sommeliers are here to serve you.
So, instead of accidentally ordering the red wine vinegar (again), we asked Sheri Sauter Morano — a bona fide sommelier — to tell us how to find the right wine on any menu. (And for those of you who don't know what "sommelier" means, don't worry. She's a wine expert.)
Rule Out the Least Expensive Wine on the List
A lot of times the least expensive wine on the list is something that you know is pretty generic. You probably can find a better buy at the next range of price and you kind of look a little bit better in the eyes of your date.
Lose the Popularity Contest
Stay away from any wine that you recognize from commercials or other advertisements. Nine times out of ten those wines are marked up higher because restaurants recognize that this is a wine you’re going to be familiar with. Frequently, people get insecure when they look at the wine list and their eyes jump to something they’re familiar with and go, 'Oh, I’ll just order that.' You can find a better value wine if you look around a little bit more.
Ask for Help the Right Way
There are ways to ask your sommelier for information without looking like you don't know anything. Instead of 'Oh, I’ve never heard of this grape. Should I order this wine?', pose these questions instead:
I’ve come across this grape as part of a blend before, but I’ve never tasted it as a single varietal. Do you recommend it?
I’ve had a lot of different white wines, but is this [insert wine name] something that would pair really well with our food?
I really like to expand my grape knowledge and I’d love to try something new and different. What would you recommend?
You know my date really enjoys [insert wine name], but I tend to enjoy heavier reds. What do you suggest as a balance?
Play It Safe
When trying to order a wine that has the best chance of pleasing everyone, Pinot Noir (from California, Oregon, and Burgundy, France) is probably your most versatile red grape that will pair with a wide range of dishes from fish to red meat. Riesling (from France, Australia, Germany or Austria) is the most versatile white wine.
Be a Champ
One of my pet peeves at restaurants, is they ask you to order a drink as soon as you sit down. Don’t fall into the rush. Either let them know you need more time, or better yet, order a couple glasses of champagne. In fact, champagne is one of the most versatile wines. It's incredibly food-friendly and it's a great alternative to the regular reds or whites.
Try, Try and Try Again
Don’t be afraid to order something you’ve never heard of. A lot of times, you can find a really terrific value and something that tastes great by going for something that’s out of the ordinary. When you see something new and odd, it usually means whoever put the wine list together has a secret passion for that grape and puts more thought and effort into what they include. For example, give under the radar wines like malbec, gruner veltliner, gewurztraminer, viognier or chenin blanc a shot and you'll be pleasantly surprised.
If All Else Fails…
Just remember that in most cases your date probably doesn't know what she's doing either, so you can fumble through it together.
Note: Sheri Sauter Morano has been a Master of Wine since 2003 and is currently a member of the prestigious Institute of Masters of Wine.
Cory Jones. Navigate a Wine Menu. . October 2006.
Holiday Wine Cheat Sheet
Serve the right wine at the right time this holiday season. The holidays are a tricky time of year. Through the month of December you have to meander your way through office parties, family parties and in-law parties—all kinds of parties where you need to bring wine.
Reds
Ruffino Chianti Classico Riserva 2001 $24
Region: Tuscany, Italy Foods to serve with: Pasta, prosciutto, chicken cacciatore, roasted vegetables or anything Italian Say this to sound smart: This wine is a combination of light spices and tart, acidic red berries allow it to cut through many oil and tomato-based Italian dishes. Say this to sound stupid: If you pour Chianti into your Chia Pet, it will start talking.
Louis Martini Monte Rosso Cabernet Sauvignon 2001 $70
Region: Sonoma Valley, California Foods to serve with: Sausages, steak, dry cheeses Say this to sound smart: A superb wine that has dried cherry, leather and earthy notes that will wow the most savvy connoisseur. Say this to sound stupid: Wine glasses get their shape—large head and skinny body—from Mary-Kate Olson.
Masi Campofiorin 2002 $17
Region: Verona, Italy Foods to serve with: Pasta with rich sauces, mushroom-based dishes and mild cheeses. Say this to sound smart: Campofiorin is made from Veronese grapes that create a medium-bodied wine with an intense cherry and fruit flavors. Say this to sound stupid: Most people don't know this, but ZZ Top's "Legs" is about the difficulties of getting wine stains out of a beard.
Lamuri Nero D'Avola 2003 $22
Region: Sicily, Italy Foods to serve with: Veal, pasta, and mushroom-based dishes. Say this to sound smart: This Italian wine combines the deep flavors of coffee and licorice and combines it with intense blackberry and raspberry. Say this to sound stupid: Olive Garden has the best wine cellar in the city. Pretty good bread sticks, too.
Sang des Calloux 2003 $31
Region: Vacqueyras (Southern Rhône Valley), France Foods to serve with: Smoked meats, lamb, pork chops Say this to sound smart: "Sang des Cailloux" means "blood of the stones," and the name came from the small and large stones in this region's soil. Say this to sound stupid: St. Vincent was named after Vince Vaughn, the patron saint of drinking on a plane.
Tintara Shiraz 2003 $18
Region: McLaren Vale, South Australia Foods to serve with: Hard cheeses, hamburgers, ribs and grilled chicken. Say this to sound smart: Called "Syrah" in other parts of the world, this Australian wine is big, ripe and full of blueberries, spice and cedar that give it a full-bodied finish. Say this to sound stupid: Shiraz was my favorite character on Laverne and Shirley.
Hogue Cellars Reserve Merlot 2002 $30
Region: Columbia Valley, Washington Foods to serve with: Steak, lamb, veal Say this to sound smart: This merlot has the dark, sweet flavors of mocha, blackberry and plum. Say this to sound stupid: If you drink wine with holding your breath underwater you can't get drunk. Or pregnant.
Lou Coucardie 2001 $25
Region: Rhône Valley, France Foods to serve with: Grilled steaks, soft cheeses, lamb and chocolate Say this to sound smart: This rich red wine has overtones of chocolate and black cherry and goes well with any creamy dessert. Say this to sound stupid: Back in 4th grade, this kid ate a pound of brie, a pound of camembert, drank a liter of coke and died. I swear.
Domaines des Entrefaux 2003 $18
Region: Crozes Hermitage (Northern Rhône Valley), France Foods to serve with: Stews, spicy dishes and blue cheeses Say this to sound smart: With lots of blackberry and black peppercorn, this wine is a medium-bodied that has huge flavors and won't be overpowered by even the spiciest dishes. Say this to sound stupid: Children put wine in their cereal in France and sneak sips of milk when their parents aren't looking.
Ravenswood Zinfandel 2002 $16
Region: Sonoma County, California Foods to serve with: Barbecued meats, lamb, turkey, and pasta Say this to sound smart: This very peppery wine with its bright berry finish goes great with a wide array of foods. Say this to sound stupid: Wine before liquor, never sicker, but wine before lunch means you're having brunch.
Chateau Pesquie Quintessence 2001 $25
Region: Rhône Valley, France Foods to serve with: Paté, olives, seafood and bacon Say this to sound smart: With aromas of blackberries and blueberries, this French red combines soft fruits with tart acidity to create a very complex wine. Say this to sound stupid: Quintessence contains several essential vitamins and minerals. Most especially vitamin alcohol.
Whites
Altanuta Pinot Grigio 2004 $15
Region: Alto Adige, Italy Foods to serve with: Fish, oysters, sushi, chicken and veal Say this to sound smart: This Italian white is rich and clean with pear and lemon citrus flavors that can accentuate any dish. Say this to sound stupid: Before there were corkscrews, people used big ships to open their wine bottles.
Toasted Head Chardonnay 2003 $14
Region: California Foods to serve with: Creamy pasta and seafood dishes Say this to sound smart: A light wine that has a cool tropical overtone of papaya, banana and nectarine. Say this to sound stupid: White wine is actually the blood of albinos.
Robert Mondavi Fumé Blanc 2003 $18
Region: Napa Valley, California Foods to serve with: Heavy stews, chicken, herbs, and seafood. Say this to sound smart: Fumé Blanc is actually Sauvignon Blanc. Robert Mondavi first coined the name "fumé blanc" to accentuate the wine's smoky flavor. Say this to sound stupid: Robert Mondavi once stabbed a man who called him "the Bobster."
Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc $17
Region: New Zealand Foods to serve with: Seafood and white meats like chicken and pork. Say this to sound smart: Following a recent trend in quality wines, Kim Crawford uses a screw cap to stop the cork from tainting the butterscotch and melon flavors. Say this to sound stupid: This vintage is almost as good as Grape Ape's.
Drylands 2004 Sauvignon Blanc $15
Region: New Zealand Foods to serve with: Shrimp, scallops, seafood stews, Say this to sound smart: The zesty citrus wine has melon and passionfruit flavors that linger on your palette for a while. Say this to sound stupid: New Zealanders are called "kiwis" because all of them have a rough brown exterior that, when peeled back, reveals a tasty green flesh that goes great in fruit salad.
