In some parts of the world people use the words cordial and liqueur interchangeably. Though, in these places, the two expressions both describe liquors made by redistilling spirits with aromatic flavorings and are usually highly sweetened, there are some differences. While liqueurs are usually flavored with the ingredients listed above, cordials are generally prepared with fruit pulp or juices. Nearly all liqueurs are quite sweet, with a highly concentrated, dessert-like flavour.
Liqueurs may be drunk neat, often during or after dessert, or may be used in cocktails or cooking. There are many categories of liqueurs including: fruit liqueur, cream liqueur, coffee liqueur, chocolate liqueur, schnapps liqueur, brandy liqueur, anise liqueur, nut flavoured liqueur, and herbal liqueur.
HPNOTIQ Liqueur
Forget the poor spelling and let yourself be hypnotised into wanton drunkenness.
If you like your drinks like your women—French and fruity—then this sky-blue tipple in a frosted, champagne-style bottle should be your next hairy-armpitted paramour. Served straight or mixed with other cocktails, this tropical liver-flavoring liqueur is a zesty mix of premium vodka, fine cognac and natural tropical fruit juices (orange and passion fruit) that can transmute even the most dyslexic drinker into a hypnotic state. The $27 (for 750 ml) price tag means you can afford it, while the 34 proof means you soon won't care about its Eurotrashy spelling. Vive la booze revolution!
Shango Rum Liqueur
Any rum named after an ancient African king has to be good…or at least deadly.
Made with 100 percent sugarcane, this Caribbean spiced rum is sweeter than a southern belle serving tea and sticky rolls. It's named after Shango, the ancient African king who was worshipped for his mastery of lightning, romance and fertility (and, we're also guessing, kickass open bars.) It can be served with cola or citrus juice, but it's best in your favorite frozen summer cocktail—it's even sweeter than Captain Morgan or Malibu rum, and in a mixed drink, the flavor is a little overpowering. But serve it blended with ice and fresh fruit juice on a hot summer day and you'll be sailing away to your own tropical island.
Osborne Anis del Mono
This licorice liqueur is like candy for adults. Hammered adults.
If there's on thing kids love, it's licorice. And if there's one thing adults love, it's drinking bucketfuls of alcohol. So let your inner child get a little tipsy with Osborne's new Anis del Mono, the licorice-flavored liqueur. The Anis del Mono Dulce ($18/750 ml) is sweet, while the Anis del Mono Seco ($18/750 ml) has an earthier licorice flavor. Both can be enjoyed straight, chilled over ice or, if your inner child is a pyromaniac, lit on fire for the ultimate party trick. But beware: If you let your glass of liquid licorice burn too long, you'll be left with only caramelized sugar, and no alcohol. And if you let that happen, we'd have to ground you, inner kid or no inner kid.
Strange Brews
Tarantula Brandy
Where to sip: Cambodia
Freshly dead tarantulas are muddled in a glass with rice liquor, and the whole pulpy brew is knocked back in one gulp.
Seagull Wine
Where to sip: Arctic Circle
Take a dead seagull, put it in a bottle (don't ask), fill with water, and leave it in the sun to ferment. Oh, those Eskimos!
Baby Mouse Liquor
Where to sip: Korea
A reputed cure-all in rural Korea, this distilled rice spirit is packed with infant mice carcasses and fermented for a year.
Cheat sheet*
Prost German
Iku lku Japanese
Sante French
Fisehatak Arabic
Gan bei Chinese
Ya mas Greek
Mierenneuker Dutch
Yob materi vashi! Russian
Skal Scandinavian
Salud Spanish
Cin cin Italian
Cheers! English
*warning: some of these may get your ass kicked.
Alcoholic's Gift Guide
Give the gift that keeps on giving this holiday season. No, not syphilis, silly. Booze!
Glenfiddich Ancient Reserve Price: $64
This elegant single malt scotch whiskey has a round nose, a malty aftertaste and is aged to a perfectly legal 18 years old. Did we say "legal"? We meant “regal.” We also meant “It's no longer jailbait.”
Casalnova Prosecco
Price: $14
Sip this Italian sparkling wine during dinner and it'll turn your lukewarm Chef Boyardee into a feast fit for the Godfather.
Milagro Anejo Tequila Price: $50
The Milagro Anejo is a pale amber tequila that's aged in a single white oak barrel. The term anejo is Spanish for “mature,” meaning the tequila has been aged for more than 12 months (the Milagro Anejo has been sitting around for 18). What most people also don't know is that the word tequila actually means “One more shot and I'm taking off my pants.”
Hendrick's Gin Price: $42
Hendricks bills itself as “a most peculiar gin” due to its infusion of rose petal and cucumber, which give it a refreshingly unique taste. But to be honest, we didn't find the infusion of the cucumber very peculiar. (We infuse one into our facial scrub every morning.)
The Glenlivet 1964 Price: $2,000
The Glenlivet 1964 is the mother of all single malts. Pick up a bottle of this 40-year-old scotch for your boss and it'll be your automatic ticket to Promotionville. Or Firedville if you work for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Wild Turkey Tribute Price: $90
This 15-year-old Kentucky bourbon is aged in “sweet sugar” barrels and is a tribute to true Kentuckian and master distiller Jimmy Russell's 50 years of service to Wild Turkey. We prefer to give tribute to Kentuckians by dating our parents.
The Glenlivet, 18 Years Old Price: $60
This single malt scotch is aged 18 years in hand-selected casks for a long-lasting finish that's smoother than a Scotsman's bagpipe. (Don't ask us how we know this, just take us on our word.)
Smirnoff Gift Box Price: $13
Skip the trouble of wrapping presents this year with the Smirnoff Gift Box. The smooth Russian vodka's decorated cardboard box fits in perfectly with the other presents under the tree. Give this to loved ones if you hate wrapping gifts.
The Balvenie, 25 Years Old Price: $308
This single malt scotch has aged itself in a single barrel for 25 years and offers honey and oaky flavors that stay on your tongue for quite a while. To keep the flavors on your palate even longer, cut off your tongue and drop it in the bottle.
Vampire Wine and Vodka
Scare the pants off your Halloween partygoers with Transylvania's only native libation.
We admit it: Back in the '80s we went through a "vampire" phase. We had the cape, the dyed black hair, the ghost-white complexion, and hell, we even avoided garlic at all costs. But there was one aspect of the vampire lifestyle that we didn't like sticking our neck out for: the feeding off the blood of the living. What can we say? We prefer a nice filet mignon with a twice-baked potato over the plasma of a virgin. So sue us. But, there's good news for all you wannabe Draculas. Vampire wines has come up with a few wines and liquors that are the next best thing to actual blood. From their wineries and distilleries in spooky Transylvania (the actual city in Romania), the peppery and spicy Pinot Noir and Vampyre Vodka leave your teeth and lips a deep, dark red, which leaves you looking like you've been sucking on the peppery and spicy Charo. They also have a white Pinot Grigio, but that just leaves your lips looking like you've been sucking the blood of an albino. Which really isn't all that scary.
The Rice Is Right
Sake can be as mysterious as the Japanese who brew it. How they drink it using chopsticks, we’ll never know. (We just slurp it out of our cupped hand.)
Shirakawago Sasanigori $25 Nigori sakes are unfiltered, giving the traditionally clear drink a thick, sweet consistency. It may look like skim milk, but the smoothness tempers the fishiness of Japanese cuisine nicely. If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain, mix it with vodka for a modified white Russian. Get mixed up with a Russian mobster for more fun.
Tenzan Jizake $33
This is the sake version of a good microbrew: It’s made in small quantities using only rice, water and koji (the mold spores that transform starchy rice into sweet fermented goodness). This formula gives the sake a pure, polished finish. Enjoy it chilled from tiny sake cups with a slice of cucumber and your pinkie held out. (It’s manly.)
Niwa no Uguisu Daruma $47
“The Nightingale of the Garden” is slightly tart and dry. The Zen monk depicted on the bottle prayed for eight years while staring at a blank wall. As a result, he lost the use of his arms and legs. You will, too, after finishing off a bottle. Drink it at room temperature and in small quantities or drop it into a mug of Sapporo beer, boilermaker-style.
Wakatake Daiginjo Onikoroshi $43
The term onikoroshi (“demon killer”) used to refer to rice wine so foul it could kill a demon. The term is now used ironically, but at 16 to 17 percent booze, this pricey holy water kicks some serious ass. Mild-mannered and medium dry, this rich sake is sturdy enough to be served warm or cold. Just like revenge!
Napa Valley Hakusan Plum $7
This fruit-infused sake’s syrupy nature makes it nice as a fruit glaze or with dessert—which is kind of girlie for something that looks like Michelob without the head and tastes like a flat wine cooler (in a good way). Place a mug of this in boiling water to warm it up before you drink it. If only NyQuil were this tasty—or cheap.
Enjoy rice the way it was meant to be enjoyed—as alcohol!
Those of you not of the Asian persuasion might not know too much about sake, the rice-based wine from Japan. And Yuki No Bosha Junmai Daiginjo ($64.99/720ml) is sure to become your new Asian fetish. So sit back, and learn something from your new sensei at Stuffmagazine.com. Lesson one: Because it's made with just rice and water, sake is much easier on the stomach than many other boozes (we're looking at you, rubbing alcohol). Lesson two: When you're trying to figure out which sake to buy, there are some easy rules to follow. Better sakes, called junmai daiginjo and junmai ginjo, are created by polishing off 60 percent and 50 percent, respectively, of the rice kernel's crappy-tasting husk. By contrast, lower-grade sakes (junmai-shu) leave on more of the husk, which greatly affects the taste and complexity of the finished product. Think trying to eat an orange without peeling it. Lesson 3: Now think about something better, like Jessica Simpson making out with Angelina Jolie in a pile of sushi.
Ban Lifted on Badass Booze
Absinthe, the hallucinogenic juice, is loose!
For many dry moons, Swiss lawmakers have banned their cheese-loving, chocolate-chomping countrymen from washing down these sinfully delicious delights with sinfully sinister absinthe, just because it supposedly drove people insane. (The consumption of two glasses of the stuff was blamed for inciting a factory worker to murder his wife and children in 1905.) Well, insanity be damned, this month the Swiss have legalized the potentially dangerous elixir, also known as "the green fairy” and "the green curse of France.” What makes it so darned dangerous is not all the alcohol it contains—which can be as high as 72 percent—but an added toxic chemical called thujone, which in large doses can cause tremors, hallucinations, paralysis and brain damage. Sure, low-level thujone absinthe has been legally available in several countries for a while (though not in the United States of Pussyville), but Switzerland is where it was invented. This is the real shit, people. So get your sober ass to the Alps, order a bottle, drink up and join the ranks of such historic green-fairy guzzlers as Oscar Wilde and Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. Historical footnote: They’re both dead. Just sayin’.
Gordon Thomson, The Stuff Editors, Adam Johnson, Cory Jones, Fiz Ardalan, Mike Errico, Patrick Richardson, Tony Mcmenamin, Mike Connolly, Tony McMenamin, Sally Law, Paul Ulane, and Chris Kaye (unless otherwise noted) are the authors for all aticles on drinking. The source is Stuff.
