Few things go down better on a hot day than an ice-cold, wallet-friendly lager. Few things other than our stock in the Arizona Igloo Company, that is. Workin’ all summer just a-tryin’ to earn a dollar? Relax, matey—relief is at hand. Join us as we drink in the refreshing icy beers of summer.
Labatt Blue
This flavorful Canadian pilsner is sweet, and if you were a beer snob, you’d say it has hints of chocolate and caramel. It’s the perfect beer to drink while sweating over the grill and while someone else cleans up afterward. Don’t waste a drop—each bottle contains just 11.5 ounces. Which is exactly how much fits in our mouth.
Miller High Life
Anyone entering the New World should be given a High Life as an introduction to American beer. As the lightest-bodied of the bunch, a freezing-cold six-pack of this is the perfect accompaniment to a beautiful day wasted indoors watching baseball on TV. Plus, the ballgame and your unwillingness to get off the couch are symbolic of freedom. God bless America!
Keystone Light
Hit the beach with a case of this in a cooler filled with ice, set up the volleyball net, have a seat and watch the ladies take to the court. There’s a sugary sweetness to the beer that’s countered by its slightly bitter aftertaste. Cans are easy to drink from while you fetch the volleyball. Put down your beer when you reapply suntan lotion to the competitors (i.e., your thighs).
Red Stripe
Turn on the Marley and pass the dutchie while you enjoy the butterscotch rhythms of this Jamaican import. The squat bottle is perfect for pool parties because of its low center of gravity—it’ll hold its own when long necks are getting knocked down and broken by any splash, beach ball or stumblebum. (That’s our pet name for our newborn son!)
Heineken
Heineken’s slight salty and celerylike tastes make it a perfect drink with a juicy cheeseburger: The beer’s dry aftertaste will put even strong fromage, like bleu, in its place. Take a six-pack of these microkegs to the party your girlfriend and her roommates are throwing and establish beer cred with the officers who come to enforce the restraining order.
Yellow Belly
The Minnesota Brewing Company’s “alcoholic alternative beverage” is hyped as “lemon with an attitude.”
Translation: Zima and Tom Collins mixer; hold the swizzle. It’s just tart enough to avoid wimpy wine-cooler status. But don’t forget to shake well…the unexplained gray sediment can be unappetizing. *
Pete’s Wicked Honey Wheat
Pete Slosberg’s 11-year-old craft-brew empire, which went public in 1995, has generated quite a buzz for this honey-flavored masterpiece. Caramel malt gives it a smooth, pleasant body—in fact, it’s not terribly “wicked” until you polish off a second six-pack. Make a beeline to the nearest distributor. ***
Pacifico Clara
Cerveceria del Pacifico’s Tex-Mex beer is just the thing for jamming into the sand next to a beach bonfire after a hard day’s surfing. A little heavier than Corona, yes, but it’s not so tastelessly trendy, and you won’t get lime pips caught in your teeth. With its fresh taste and carbonated, lemony bite, it’s a solid thirst quencher. **
Alimony Ale
“The Bitterest Beer in America,” this Buffalo Bill’s Brewery entrant is the darkest, heaviest beer on our list. First brewed in recycled dairy equipment in Hayward, California, this ale has the deep, malty backbone and hoppy aftertang of a stout. But hey, you don’t always want light and refreshing, even in summer—sometimes you just want to sulk. ***
Blue Moon Belgian White
This Coors Brewing Company specialty brewery puts so much TLC into its Belgian White that they can only brew it “once in a blue moon.” Cute, huh? But with cameo appearances by exotics like coriander and orange peel, this complex brew is the gin of beers, and certainly ought to be brewed more often. Say…every full moon? **
Red Stripe
A lager brewed by Desnoes & Geddes in Kingston, Jamaica, this goes down faster than the national bobsled team. Some people think of it as glorified Budweiser, but it’s got more character than that. Remember, it’s Jamaican. Get together with a couple of these and feel all right. **
Samuel Adams Summer Ale
The inventors of the micro brewery/craft brewery craze pulled out all the stops with this tangy wheat beer: lemon flavor, an antique, sharp spice (and reputed aphrodisiac) called grains of paradise, and even an artsy label inspired by Winslow Homer’s paintings. Old Sammy (you know, “Brewer…patriot”) would be proud. ***
Saranac Golden Pilsener
Brewed by Matt Brewing Company in Utica, New York, this aromatic American wheat beer has a strong personality. It’s flowery, grainy, hoppy…hell, it’s a whole damn meadow in a bottle. But it’s a reliable pal with the character to stand up to pizza, seafood, even cigars without backing down. **
Jet City Triple 7 Nectar
If you really, really, really like apricot, this is the beer for you. Jet City Brewery in Seattle (home of Boeing) gives aviation names to all its beers, so to commemorate the virgin flight of the Triple 7, the world’s most powerful twin jet aircraft, they blended seven ingredients seven times and fermented for seven days for this fruity extravaganza. *
Oregon Hefeweizen
Tough day splitting logs? Probably can’t do much better than one of these. A medium-bodied wheat beer with a clean, crisp, hoppy taste. Oh, and don’t worry about that authentic Northwest cloudiness: Oregon Ale and Beer Company leaves in the yeast sediment, free of charge, for extra home-brew flavor. ***
Celis Raspberry
Take a traditional Belgian “white” beer, stir in some raspberry juice, and what do you get? Well, if you’re the Celis Brewery (we know–you’re not) you get this sweetly syrupy dessert brew. Not the one to have if you’re having more than one (or if you’re a diabetic); but when what you want is an after-dinner-Jacuzzi, sippin’ beer, look no further. *
Sol Especial
Light, smoothly mellow, and best when served freezing cold, Sol is the perfect party starter, neatly turning siesta into fiesta. The original Cerveceria Moctezuma brewery, where Sol is made, was founded by Mexicans of German extraction—try it with your next batch of sauerkraut burritos!
Bud Light Aluminum Bottles
It's not summertime without burning, BBQ'ing and Bud.
Just when you thought Bud Light couldn't get any better (you were thinking that, right?), the furry-footed horsies at Anheuser-Busch went and changed the game. Now available in space-aged cobalt-blue bottle-shaped aluminum cans, or "cottles," as we like to call them, Bud Light has upgraded its look and flavor. Offering the taste of bottles, with the convenience of cans, the cottle can be cracked open everywhere glass bottles aren't allowed, like the beach, the park and the beach parking lot. Plus, through the wizardry of science, the new aluminum cottles keep their contents at a temperature that varies somewhere between absolute zero and absolutely freezing. Result: Your Bud Light goes down faster than a Clydesdale at the Purina factory.
Ballpark Brews
Go to the game and order a major-league beer. Drink fast—they stop selling in the seventh! For cheap beer, stumble over to Colorado’s Coors Field, where a 16-ounce Coors or Coors Light will set you back $3.75—21 percent cheaper than the brew served at Yankee Stadium, for instance. (Yeah, it’s Coors, but after the first two, who’s tasting it anyway?) If anyone disputes the fact that Chicago is a drinking town, bring ’em to Wrigley. there are beer lines that could have manned a small army. Two lads were typical lieutenants: They started fast and kept up a blistering pace throughout the game, stacking each empty cup after they finished with it. By the end of the game, they had a two-foot-high monument to beer.
Iron City Beer $4* Home field PNC Park at North Shore, Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh may put its suds in a snazzy aluminum bottle, but that doesn't mean its beer tastes like
a smelting mill. In fact, it tastes like Pirate grog: sweet malt with a hint of Blackbeard backwash. OK, so it's our backwash. We have a reflux problem!
Lone Star $7 Home field Minute Maid Park, Houston
Everything is bigger in Texas…except for this beer, which is still just 12 ounces. But good things come in small packages, and the Star's touches of molasses and carbonation help this bubbly twister drench the parched oil field that is your tongue.
Samuel Adams Boston Lager $8 Home field Fenway Park, Boston
This BoSox brew is the darkest in color and heaviest in body of the bunch. The mingled flavors of chocolate truffles and caramel Sugar Daddies are almost as sweet as the team's first Series victory since 1918.
Yuengling Lager $7 Home field Citizens Bank Park, Philadelphia
Yuengling—America's oldest brewery—keeps the notorious Phillies fans oiled up and ready to pitch crap onto the field. This well-balanced brew is a bit sweet and a tad salty with hardly any aftertaste. It's what we imagine brotherly love tastes like.
Anchor Steam Beer $7 Home field SBC Park, San Francisco
Anchor Steam, a full-bodied brew with a roasted-nut flavor, can stoke your fire when the winds kick up—or if you fall off the park's outfield wall and into the San Francisco Bay while chasing one of Barry Bonds' space probes.
